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Pure Slaughter Value

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Pure Slaughter Value last won the day on February 18

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About Pure Slaughter Value

  • Rank
    Senor Furrypants
  • Birthday 11/28/1969

Previous Fields

  • Other Favorite Sports Teams?
    Yankees, Jets, LA Kings
  • Interests
    Guitar-playing, listening to music, guitar-playing, collecting music, guitar-playing.
  • Name
    David
  • Occupation
    Administrator of Sales Software (A.S.S.)

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Tappan, NY
  • Favorite Player(s)
    Tavares, Shattenkirk, Backes, Hedman

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About Me

11/6/2017 - So do I stay at the new company or not? I am waiting for a new and improved "Voluntary Retirement Program" in which I could get 4 weeks per year for severance. Considering I've been with the same company for 25 years I sure could sign off on 2 years paid leave. Think I'd probably not work for a couple of months, go crazy and then you'd find me bagging groceries at your nearest S-mart while complaining about lower-back problems and things called "bunions".

As mentioned in previous "About Me" posts, I'm in the mid-life crisis mode where I am wanting to simplify my life but am buying things left and right. That's totally against simplification and promotes complications but whatever. I now have thirteen guitars, though I only play for a couple of hours each week. They sure do look pretty! Problem is I live in a house that's 300 years old so they have to stay in their cases (guitars in cases don't look nearly as good as guitars hanging on wall or on racks).

Speaking of racks, I'd like to thank Isleschick for all the work she's put into this board. She doesn't get nearly enough credit and props, unless the subject of podiatry comes up and Mattyboy's in the thread.

Ex-girlfriend doesn't live with me but is over constantly and is threatening to move back in. I guess it's ok, I'm fine being semi-single and I need the help since there's 32 paws in this house. Six cats, two dogs, 2,800 square feet. Sounds fine, right? Would be except that at any given moment there's four cats and both dogs within arm's reach. I have "house clothes" (those that can be pilled and ripped to shreds) and regular clothes (clothes worn outside the house).  If I do "retire" from my current job, good chance that I pick up and move somewhere where the taxes aren't more than most peoples salaries. Good lord, it's just stupid to live in "NY State".

Hair on the head is starting to disappear, hair on my ear lobes and in my nose is growing at a rapid pace.  I yell at clouds, make fists and tell people to get off my lawn.

 

4/10/2016 - Went looking for apartments for my ex-girlfriend mentioned below. Not sure how I feel about to be alone again but my dreams of a kitchen covered in silly string is about to become reality. I'm probably going to move as well since I'm scheduled to be abducted by my home planet any day now. It's either that or I'll move somewhere in Rockland or Westchester county.

 

The company I work for was sold to a French company, so I'm either going to be employed by them or let go. Either way, I'll be working or not working, which is fine by me. Part of me wants to be laid off (only if severance is 2wks for every year, that'd be a full years salary) and part of me doesn't. The other part of me isn't so sure.

 

I think I'd take half salary to not work in Manhattan. I loved it for so many years and now I can't stand it. The commute is awful, I rarely leave my office and when I do I'm poked in the eye by tourists who point at St. Patricks as if they've never seen a church before. It's great to be able to walk over to Bryant or Central park on the rare days when I can leave work during lunch...but it's made miserable by the fact that a million other people have the same idea to congregate on the same small patch of lawn.

 

Mid-life crisis is in full swing. With the ex moving out I'm not sure if I'm supposed to start doing blow off of hooker's asses or start thinking about committing to the next woman or hot transgender individual i meet (I want to be open-minded in my middle-age).

 

I'm actually fairly happy, just in a self-deprecating mood while writing this.

 

7/29/14 - Been living with a new girlfriend for the last five years. 13 years younger, which I guess equals us out mentally. She's much smarter than I am and it bites me in the ass all the time. She also has a fantastic memory whereas I'm happy I can remember the names of my pets.

 

Same job, totally different living situation. Moved from an apartment in Sunnyside, Queens, where my social life was excellent and my commute was short back home to Rockland County where I have very little social life and a long-ass commute.

 

I'm not at the point where I'm dressing the animals and sitting them down at the dinner table but that probably isn't too far off, as far as my social life goes.

 

The commute door-to-door at its quickest 90 minutes. More often it's 105. The average commute in the tri-state area is 45 minutes so someone better thank me for the ride from 95th to Grand Central or 79th to Penn.

 

Living in the house I grew up in, watched my father die in and realize that mom's lung cancer had moved to her brain is really trying. I think about it almost every day (when I'm not training the five cats and one dog for the itarod). Personally can't wait to sell it and move south.

 

I have bought some fantastic musical equipment...an amp built by a fantastic builder (Richard Goodsell) customized to my specs and a couple of guitars (Gibson Reverse Firebird, Asher Ultra-Tone, Suhr Custom)...plus an arsenal of pedals that I keep buying and selling off in order to fund new purchases (you lose money this way, don't let anyone try to tell you differently).

 

I still pretty much rock the AC/DC and Creedence to its core. I've got the three-chord rock n roll vibe down, fo sure.

 

My latest hobby is shaving. WTF is wrong with me? Seriously, I bought a Merkur Double-Edged Safety razor, nice shaving cream and aftershave gel and I actually enjoy shaving. I thought it was a real strange hobby til I read the "Badger and Blade" site. Jesus, there's something like 10 forums with multiple sub-forums all talking about shaving.

 

There's 13,512 members there, so there's that many people out there that have the same problem. That makes it allllll better.

 

If you're into good songwriting. Check out Jason Isbell on Amazon, Rhapsody, whatever. Read this interview to get an idea of what he's like as a person: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/02/magazine/jason-isbell-unloaded.html?pagewanted=all&_r=1&

 

If you see that someone you like is playing at City Winery, GO SEE THEM THERE. Spend the extra 10-15 a ticket and get the VIP seats. What a great place to see a show, have some tapas and drink some wine. It's a small place so you get a very intimate performance. It's also one of the few places in Manhattan where you can drive and find street parking without much of a problem. http://citywinery.com/newyork/

 

Since I read the below I'd like to update some more things. I'm still 5'7" but I no longer weigh 140 lbs. I now weigh 155 lbs. All the weight has gone to one place. You guessed it, MY PENIS....actually my stomach. I like to pat it every once in a while just to jiggle it. It's like jello, but hairy and pasty-white.

 

I have five cats and a dog. The dog's a mutt (with obvious Pit and Boxer in him) and incredibly lovable. Thankfully Jenk's only 45 lbs so he's manageable.

 

Three tuxedo cats (Gaia, Indie and Dexter) and two black cats (Nilo and Chloe). Pets really do bring so much love and joy into my life. They're awesome and all have their own personalities.

 

For those that have met me, here's a shock. I no longer drink. I may have two drinks every couple of weeks. The reason? It's two-fold. One, I'm a light-weight. I can't start drinking at 11:59am and throw down gasoline down my gullet and then man a bbq twenty beers and a pint of gin hours later. Two beers makes me drunk. Economical yes, fun no. The second is because I live in the suburbs so I'm driving everywhere. I don't want to have more than two drinks and then get behind the wheel and endanger myself and others. There was a time when that was a challenge. That was stupid of me. Never again.

 

I'll bore you with more at another time!

 

 

 

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Sometime long ago. I haven't updated my profile in about a year and I get a kick out of this place and the users, so here's some more info, mostly meaningless drivel that lets you know nothing in particular about anything at all.

I've been single for a year now and have enjoyed it immensely. I had forgotten what it was like to do what I wanted when I wanted and for whatever reason I wanted. The selfishness of being alone can be a real great high. I do get treated oddly when I go to a restaurant by myself, so I heighten the awkwardness between the server and I by talking to the open chair at the table. At cheaper places I've asked for two dinners at separate place settings and then waited till the end of dinner to remark "Guess he/she/it isn't going to eat right now, could I get this to go?

Of course, I had to have a hobby, otherwise my nights would be spent playing poker with the cat (and he's a terrible bluffer) or watching my stomach get bigger from constantly bellying up to the bar (or actually believe I'm out to dinner with someone when I'm not)

So I play a lot of guitar. The lack of expense with having a girlfriend to support and take out has allowed me the luxury of changing my entire guitar rig over and to practice constantly. My stuff runs the gamut from blues to Zeppelin-like acoustic stuff. I'm a huge fan of open tunings. At open mics I can see the tension in people's faces in-between songs whilst I tune. This pleases me immensely. The more tension the better, the resolution is more impactful that way.

Some of the songs I've written are usually topical. "9th Grade Whore" is an example of that, though that could very well be topical all the time. I'm not going to name any others because they haven't been copyrighted yet and I don't want my genius to get out there.

I play a Martin DCX1-E, Ovation 12-string Balladeer and Gretsch 5120. There's about 6-7 other guitars I own, but they're scattered all over the tri-state area and they don't come when I call, so they're stuck where they are. Their necks are probably bent at a 90 degree angle right now.

Roland Cube 80 and Vox AC30 are my two amps. I'm a pedal whore and currently own a Boss RC20, VS Double-Trouble Overdrive, Pigtronix Philosopher's Tone Compressor, T-Rex Reverb, EXH Deluxe Memory Man, EXH Micro-Pog, EHG Stereo Electric Mistress, Boss TU2 Tuner, Boss Flanger and another pedal I can't recall the name and it's in the other room, so we'll call it the "Super Duper Unnecessary Noise Maker in Dave's Room pedal"

My favorite guitarist is Marc "****ing" Ford. If you don't know who he is you should. He's the lead guitarist on The Black Crowes "Southern Harmony & Musical Companion", "Three Snakes and One Charm" and "Amorica" albums. He's also played with Ben Harper quite a bit, produced both The Steepwater Band and Ryan Bingham. He's fantastic.

Guitarists spend years trying to find their tone and his is unique. That's quite the compliment, since there's more guitar players out there than are people in North America.

I'm going to see The Black Crowes in SF again this December. This will mark the 51st, 52nd and 53rd time I've seen them. Just a phenomenal no-frills rock band. No stageshows, no massive effects, just a bunch of incense-laden apples and fine musicianship with a singer that has a lot of soul.
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OLD PROFILE MATERIAL -

I had a threesome with a friend of mine and some bimbo about 17 years, 256 days and several hours ago. It was pleasing in a sense that I had one; it just felt weird to be giving a guy a high-five mid-thrust…,very odd.

One of the worst moments of my life was when I was tripping on acid during a Phish concert on New Years (95? 96?) and I thought of what it would be like without my parents. Having lost my father last year, it's 10x as bad.

I'm a crazy cat person. I would rather hang with them and watch Animal Planet then go out and be social.

I play guitar. When I was younger I opened up for Great White, Badlands, Kix, Trixter and Stryper…Holy Hair! Aqua-net everywhere. Convinced myself that I'd move out to LA and become the next Ratt or Motley Crue. Our band broke up over "musical differences"…that actually DOES happen, in case you've never been in a band.

I don't consider myself very good and my knowledge of music theory is lacking. I do think that what I write now reflects me, as opposed to how you could hear my influences override my personality in previous songs/bands.

Physically? I'm 5'7", 140 lbs. I think I've been in two fights the last 15 years…losing them both but being applauded for taking on a truck driver (slapped my girlfriend at the time) and a roid-head (started with me because I was quite clearly the wimpiest guy in a biker-bar). The only cool thing I can say about the fights is that someone of my size is pretty much allowed to be as dirty as possible.

I look far less then my age. One of the great things about my mom's side of the family is they're all slender…basically at a family function the whole family can become dominoes if a slight wind comes through the backyard.

The bad part (and I haven't figured out which side this comes from) is that my nerves are shot. I'm not paranoid, but have collective anxiety disorder…basically have a hard time in crowded places (subway trains, general admission concerts, NYC bars on a Friday/Saturday night). It's perplexing because it just started to kick in again after a 10 year hiatus.

Meh, I may seek help, but I've been told the types of pills I'd be popping and I want nothing to do with that.

Used to be a stoner, pretty much still act like one but the anxiety plus a bong-hit or two? Overwhelming, to put it mildly. So if my humor comes across as quirky, there's the answer to why.

My father died last August and I think about him every day. I hadn't cried in over a decade and when he started to deteriorate the tears didn't stop flowing. Even commercials with elderly parents will make me well up nowadays. The odd thing is I didn't really talk to him that much…and vice versa. We got along and I'm clearly like him in many ways. He was quiet, only cared if he had a friend or two and was completely content being by himself. Same here.

My brother and I get along, but don't talk to each other very often….we're just completely different. Just odd…we talk about it every once in a while to get it out and the open and to confirm we care about each other, just that we don't share the same interests.

I'm a momma's boy, let's just leave it at that.

I ****ING love The Black Crowes to no end. I've seen them 46 times and the Oct/Nov run in NYC and the Dec run in SF will make it 53. Just good ol'American Rock N Roll. I have all their studio albums, six unreleased albums and about 400 shows of theirs on disc. I listen to them almost every day. It's personally baffling how one group to me sounds better then everything I've ever heard before. Mind-boggling.

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